I was dating an attached man and I was deliberating whether or not I should tell his lady about me and the other women. Straight foolishness.
I went back and forth on how she NEEDED to know what a jerk he was. How I know intimate details of their life. How he betrayed me. (I'm laughing as I type this...growth is everything, you hear me?) I wrote the letter and I cried. I even had issues with the other "other" women. From the outside looking in, I was together and everything was all good. I was a Knock Out! No boo, I was a fall out!
My mindset was so screwed up. I didn't want to be in a relationship because of past pain, although I lied to myself it wasn't the pain, I just wasn't ready, and I was "living life." I stopped talking to this man despite his multiple attempts to win me back. It took me a few times of being "done," with him before I actually was done. They say women break up with men a multitude of times before we actually leave. I learned so many lessons from this situation. I identified characteristics about myself that I didn't like. I learned that the things that we usually can’t stand about someone else are dormant in us. All the other “other” women and his lady were stupid, but in some way I wasn't. Growth, I tell you, growth! For months I waited on an apology. I thought that this apology would be life changing.
When I finally received the apology, it enraged me a little. I don’t doubt the apology was genuine, but I expected more. I wanted the apology to take away all the hurt and disappointment and repair me. The apology was simply words out of the mouth of someone I now viewed as a liar. I forgave him. Then I forgave myself. It took longer to forgive myself, but the day I did, I felt renewed. Affairs are always so juicy on television. When the script is finished the casts go back to their own lives, whatever that may be. I never sent the letter in case you were wondering.
The day you realize(d) you need(ed) to get your life together may not be as dramatic and messy as mine was. I'm actually praying it isn't. We all have awakenings, but do we always wake up after these?
Intuition will forever and always be a woman's safety net. However, we lie to ourselves. And I don't mean just with relationships. These lies are often beautified by the word rationalization. We rationalize why things aren't that bad. We rationalize why we can't take the leap of faith. We rationalize why we can't lose 10 pounds. We rationalize why we allow others to mistreat us. We rationalize why we can't apply for a better position.
I can go on and on, but you know the things you rationalize.
Stop lying to yourself! You will create a false reality. You can't live in this false reality for long and will create unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety. This is no way to live. No one else cares about this lie, but you.
Here are some ways to stop lying yourself:
1. Make a decision that you want to stop lying to yourself.
2. Take responsibility before you begin to rationalize your behavior and (or) thoughts.
3. Examine past lies and see if there is a pattern.
4. Love yourself.
5. Realize that any situation that you have to lie to yourself about or hide from others, it's not an ideal situation for your life.
Later this week, I'll be sending you a guide on 8 ways to get your Life! True and tested ways to jump start getting your life together or simply helping you lead the life of your desires. Make sure you're on the email list, as it's exclusive to email subscribers.