Some people are hard to love. Sometimes we’re hard to love. Okay, maybe that’s just me. Some people are difficult. We’re difficult. Don’t leave me hanging; I know you can be difficult sometimes too. People mess up. We mess up. No matter how bad things get in life, despite our efforts, we will always need companionship. If you’re thinking, “No, I don’t need anyone,” honey, you will and do, give it a few rough years to see the need.
Let’s be clear, your need and my need may
vary, but the need is there.
We all need people and relationships to strive. Being around others improves our moods. Engaging in healthy relationships contributes to our happiness. Keyword healthy.
Now let’s go back to difficult people. *sigh* We all have had a few (or more than) interactions with people that drive us crazy with their difficult ways. They could be family members, co-workers, associates, friends, and (or) lovers. No matter the title that you give this individual, you have to determine is their “crazy” or level of difficulty worth enduring. If your mama is the person or if it’s your nosy meddling neighbor, you have to decide.
In any relationship or interaction, we have to accept the person for who they are. Radical acceptance- it is what it is. Now you don’t have to like it, but a spade is a spade. It doesn't transform into a diamond because you don’t like spades.
Difficult people are our teachers. They teach us what we don’t want to deal with or accept. And in turn we teach others how to treat us. Once you learn what you don’t want to accept, then you create boundaries and set limits. If you fail to do this, you are teaching people they can interact with you at their disposable; the ball will forever remain in their court.
Difficult people reveal patterns in us and our lives. If you notice that difficult people are constant in your life and only their name and face changes. Evaluate these patterns and the difficulties that affect you the most. Dealing with these people can cause us to lose our rational coping skills and initiate negative emotions. It’s hard to be rational with an irrational person.
:: Tips for dealing with the difficult ::
Don’t take irrational people personal.
Don’t take the bait! You know they are difficult, they have showed you time and time again.
Stop being surprised when they act a fool!
My peace and joy is important to me. I don’t have time for unnecessary distress. Remember it’s 100% your choice on who is on your team and a part of your cast. Occasionally we have disputes with others, but if an individual is continuously bringing you distress, who is to blame?
Live. Love. Action
1. What are your own irrational beliefs? We all have our own demons (issues) that we are dealing or not dealing with.
a. Now connect the dots with the characteristics and irrational beliefs of the difficult people in your life.
2. Love yourself like it’s nobody’s business. :)
3. Make an important decision.